Thursday, December 29, 2011

run run run

R-ah ,
Because I love you too much, I can't stop liking you now.
And I can't pretend to not love you now either.
I can only not let you see that I love you . I can only stop begging you to love me.
If I want to slowly leave your side, I still need to run.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Last Holiday part 2

second day when I was in jogja :D
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Last Holiday

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when I was in jogja :D

Sunday, December 25, 2011

never-ending agony

You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

You said move on , where do I go?
I've been trying like crazy to live without you.
But when I'm with him , I am thinking of you.
Damn, why it's you . . .
Tell me what should do. Tell me . . .
I don't know where should go.

Wouldn't be my world without you in it

Chuck: "Your world would be easier if I didn't come back."
Blair   : "That's true. But it wouldn't be my world without you in it."

Dear My Youngmin

youngmin is just a name . A name that I used to call you .

Actually , I really don't know what should I write down here now while my heart is broken like this .
You said that you couldn't be a good boyfriend for me.
And slefishly you said I better off without you.
Youngminnie . . .
what you should know is you are the best. You always be the best one for me.
Youngmin , my youngmin , I've never found someone who's honest , too honest .
You said angrily that I should move on. where do I go?
All I know is , all I know is how to stand now . to stand alone again without you.
A thousand words couldn't discribe how hurt this pain inside.
It's not about having you, It's not.
Gosh, I feel stupid enough to write this here.
You asked me what love means and I couldn't explain it to you. 
My beloved kiddo youngmin, actually what love means is the feeling that I feel for you. Love means the heartbeats that I heard when I am around you. Love means when I am stupidly worried when you're not around me , crazily afraid losing you. That's love for me.
If I have time machine, I would make you stay .
If I have time machine, I would never let go your hand, never ever.
If I have time machine, I would give you a big hug like you give me.
If I have time machine, I would believe you. Just you and only you.
The night when you said that things and changed everything ... do you know what did I do that night? I'm thinking it hardly how to move on from you. Cause  not loving you is harder than you know. I said that I've never left even just once to leave all of these. I've been staying like this for you. You said I should leave them . Why? Why you always said that you're not a good one for me? I don't understand. 
Youngmin, Do you doubt yourself? Cause all I see you always said that you're not good. I believe you're good person youngmin. I don't even care what people say about you. I don't care the caste , I don't care at all. 
Don't you know that you're honest ? You're kind of guy who's really do everything with your heart. 
Youngmiin, You're too special till I can't move on even just one step.

R-ah . . .
saranghae :') jongmal saranghae ;')