Let's talk about my diary.
Honestly, I rarely think about things like this. But, yesterday, something changed me, a lot. I'm a Muslim. When the call to prayer echoed, I was obliged to fulfill that calling.
After the dance practice, I when to mosque with my friend, call her "O". I just wanted to pray. I went in to mosque like usual, do everything like usual. But, I did not know why I was at that moment looking at the rows of men and saw...him. I saw him became the leader in prayer of my male dance team. Maybe, I've been dreaming of a male figure that handsome, kind, stylist, can play guitar or piano, loyal, etc.. but I never dreamed that such a person, someone who can lead you when praying. I brush into tears in my praying. A sense of guilt that I had let him go.
I've let go of one of my soulmates that God has given me. Someone who can lead me in my prayers. I cried without knowing the cause of why I was crying. If he isn't my destiny, I want to have a husband like him. If I have a chance to rebuild our relationship that had been ended, as much as possible I will not let him go from me ever again. I know, I still love him. I love him more than myself.